Happy 1 Month Birthday, Sophia

Today is Sophie's one month birthday!! She is getting to be such a big girl in so many ways. We can't believe how fast she is growing and changing. Sophie is a beautiful and wonderful miracle but she is also what Dr. Sears has called a "high-needs" baby. She cries alot. I mean, alot. Not just for 20-30 mins here and there but for hours at a time. And, when she cries her face gets all red and she looks so mad at the world (and at us!). Being the new parents that we are, we worry that it's us, that we're doing something wrong. But, we try everything - swaddling, the cuddle cure, rocking, swaying, bouncing, white noise, vacuum cleaners, slings, bouncers, car seats, car drives, stroller rides, massage, pacifiers - you name it - we've tried it. We tried all of our Happiest Baby on the Block tricks. We were so worried about it that we took her into the pediatrician last Monday night to make sure there was nothing physically wrong with her. The pediatrician (not Dr. Soppas) said that she seemed physically fine and that maybe if it was reflux (or GER) we could try giving her Zantac. He wrote us a prescription and we got it filled but did not give it to her until last night. We just felt if we didn't have to start our baby on meds so early, then we wouldn't but last night was another tough Friday night so we broke down and gave it to her. She had her second dose this am and so far it doesn't seem to be doing any good. (Boy was she mad when we gave it to her, though.) I've also just read that in liquid form it usually contains aluminum so we will probably not give it to her again. (I haven't even been wearing deodorant because I don't want Sophie to be exposed to the aluminum if I can help it. Don't worry, I am going to get a natural deodorant soon...)

Sophie actually had quite a week with lots of new developments. Monday was very tough for me being the first day Jim went back to work and my Dad and Kathy were not here. Jim actually came home from work to help me with her (because I begged him to). The other dumb thing about Monday was that I decided to not have any caffeine (because maybe the caffeine was making her colicky) but you know, the last time I went without any caffeine in the morning, I crashed a car in Italy so we should have known it would not go well. We took her to the pediatrician that night and checking out physically fine, we are led to believe that we just have a "high-needs" baby. (Sophia weighed in at 9 lbs. 9 ounces!) Tuesday, Jim was also home because he was not feeling well and he helped with calming her. On Tuesday, we all went to go vote in the morning and I had big plans of having a family photo in front of the voting booths with Sophie wearing an Obama sticker but unfortunately, she had other plans and screamed her head off the entire time in her car seat and leaving the house and driving to the voting place. I was so frazzled that I fed her in the car and then we went into vote. No photo op. No Obama sticker for Sophie. I did take her in with me and she pressed the button for him (well, sort of). After that, and seeing that she was still sort of calm, I bravely drove her to the Philly Area New Parents Meet-Up Members Lunch in Ardmore. We were a half and hour late but there was one other mom and her son who showed up late so we got to meet them and talk and have lunch. It was quite nice actually. I felt really proud of both Sophie and I for making it out and mingling with the other moms and kids. (and the other mom told me about the Dunstan Baby Language so we are trying to listen more intently to her cries to see if we can better respond to them.) On Wednesday, feeling emboldened from our success on Tuesday, I decided to try another outing and go to Target with her (since the last attempt at Target with Dad and Kathy was such a failure). We drove down there and she fell asleep in her car seat so I was feeling really hopeful. We made it into Target and I felt on top of the world. There we were shopping and having fun with the other SAMs (stay at home moms) and their babies in their carseats. BUT THEN, she woke up. And with a vengence. She started her inconsolable screaming and I tried to give her the pacifier (yes, we started trying to give her pacifiers since breast-feeding seems pretty well-established now) but she didn't want it. I took her out of her car seat and held her while I pushed the cart around but that didn't work either. So I finally took her into the family bathroom and nursed her standing up, sweating to death in the Target bathroom. She calmed then, of course. But, as soon as we got out of the bathroom and I put her back in the carseat hoping to finish the shopping she started screaming again. And she screamed the whole time while checking out. I never had a check-out experience go so quickly. The lady sped us through there in no time flat. I got Sophie back out to the car (still screaming) and tried to nurse her again in the car to calm her down (and so I could drive without feeling so upset). She calmed a bit but then started screaming again when we drove off. On our way home, I saw Dee Ree's mail truck and decided to surprise her with a visit from Sophie. I took her out of the car and rocked her while seeing DeeRee and she seemed to calm down. We then went for a visit to Aunt Lisa's house and Aunt Lisa really has a magic touch with Sophie. She calmed her and Sophie slept a bit in her arms. So, it was a big day with a shopping trip and visiting. And, despite the crying, we still made it outside and had an adventure so that is progress. On Thursday, Dee Ree came over and brought lunch and helped march Sophie around the living room to try and calm her. It was a good visit. Then, later in the afternoon when she was crying and I just couldn't bounce her or nurse her anymore, I decided to try and put Sophie in the carseat and take her for a ride. This calmed her and I felt very excited that the whole "put the baby in the carseat to stop her from crying" trick really worked. Unfortunately, it was rush hour so we ended up just sitting in a lot of traffic so after driving around the neighborhood a bit, we got some gas and came home. Fortunately, she was still asleep so I put her in the stoller and took her out for her first successful trip in the stroller. We walked around and around and she was still sleeping so I walked her around some more. She was still sleeping when I came home exhausted from our walking and I thought, great! I can read or something and sit outside with her but of course, as soon as we got home and stopped moving she woke up. Thankfully, Daddy came home shortly thereafter so he could try his hand at calming her.

You know... It's really hard not knowing why she is upset and not being able to soothe her. It's also really hard having her scream, red-faced and mad at the world for hours on end. And, it's hard having to hold her or nurse her or bounce her non-stop for fear that she will wake up and be inconsolable. That said, every day is new progress and new adventures. She is changing and growing so much. She now grabs at my shirt while nursing. She sometimes will smile for us in the morning moments when she is still happy. She is looking around at everything and really alert and attentive. Today, she even went into her peanut shell sling which she had previously hated. She will actually calm down in her car seat sometimes. She went for a stroller ride without crying. Most nights, she sleeps pretty well (wakes up about every 2-3 hours to feed) despite some tough long, nights. So, overall I think it's been a great month. While we're tired and frequently overwhelmed with wanting to help her not be so upset, it's still just an amazing and miraculous time for all of us, despite the crying and despite the "high-needs" intensity. If you know Jim or I, I guess it's not a surprise that our baby would be well, intense... And, as her Aunt Lisa points out, she is an Aries (like aunt Lisa) afterall and apparently Aries like to be the center of attention. Who knows what new adventures and discoveries are around the corner for tomorrow and each new day with our beautiful and perfect girl! All I know at this 1 month milestone is that life with our little Sophie will obviously never be dull...